Top Ten Tips for Watching Pistons Playoff Basketball with Rob

10. Don't use your witty sense of humor to ease the tension in a close game. Bad idea.

9. Limit your demands for quiet viewing only to when you jump from a spontaneous clap.

8. Close the kids' bedroom doors.

7. Occupy yourself with something else. Anything else. Checking your email, organizing hair accessories, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, reading, Sudoku, etc.

6. Replace items within reach that can be thrown onto the floor with soft, fluffy pillows.

5. Make sure that your DirecTV receiver is fully functional and not prone to freezing.

4. Conversation is bad. Never talk to just talk.

3. Don't call with four minutes left in the fourth quarter when the Pistons are only up by four points.

2. Let Rob have the couch. More room to flail.

1. Leave the house. Listen to the game on the radio in your car instead.