I don’t like beer. Icky stuff if you ask me. There is a bitter taste at the end of every sip of beer, doesn’t matter what kind, that makes my face contort into some sort of Red Skelton impersonation. However, Rob has been enjoying the taste of beer more and more since we had kids. So on our three brewery tours within one week, Rob had not only his share of free beer samples, but my free beer samples, too. Here’s a breakdown of the brewery tour extravaganza.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin – It was pretty crowded when we entered the visitor center. Most everyone was waiting for their tour to begin. The tour groups were about 100 people, at least, and all anyone was there for were the free samples, so they were a bit unruly and impatient. No strollers were allowed, so Lily and Mom stayed back in the visitor’s center. This ended up being pretty good, since there were quite a few stairs that Mom would have had to do. It was a lot of walking, about 6 blocks total. Our tour guides recited from a script, which I guess was okay, but it lacked personality. The tour began with a cheesy movie about Miller Time, which I actually laughed aloud at a couple of times. Not because it was funny, but because it was so very, very sad. *sigh* After the movie, we were herded through a set of doors into the bottling and canning line. Unfortunately, they only had one can line running, no bottles, so there wasn’t that much action. Robby and Grace did not care for the smell. I have to agree. It stunk like beer. I know, I know. It’s a brewery tour, for pete’s sake. Still, it was rank at times. There was some beer running out from the can line, which one of our guides commented would be gathered and shipped to Anheuser-Busch for packaging. Hee hee. From the packaging line, we went to the storage warehouse, where we had a “quiz” on the types of beer that Miller brews. Some people know a lot about beer. It’s remarkable, I think, that their brain cells were that sharp to be able to yell out the answers that quickly. We did learn, though, that all Miller beer is shipped out within 36 hours form start to finish. After the prizeless quiz, we were wrangled into the beer caves, which was fun trying to get Grace and Robby to say. “Are there bears in the bear caves? I don’t like bears.” “No, not bear caves, beer caves.” Silly children on beer tours. Anyway, after the beer caves, the samples began in an indoor bar-like place. 8 ounce glass mugs of a light, summer beer that was not very good, and a small bag of pretzels for each of us. Then, the outdoor biergarten. 8 ounce plastic cups of a choice of 6 Miller beers served by, what appeared to be, middle school children. Dad and Rob didn’t really have a favorite sample, so after Robby spilled his cup of lemonade all over the seat, we left before using all of our sample opportunities (2 per adult). We had to walk a couple blocks back to the visitor center to get Mom and Lily. It would have been nice if the tour had ended at the visitor center so Mom could have joined us for samples, but I am guessing that she would not have really liked anything, either. The entire tour, including sampling, took about 1 ½ hours. All in all, this brewery tour earned 1 out of 3 worts. If you don’t know what wort is, you won’t learn it on this tour, that’s for sure.
Sprecher Brewery, Glendale, Wisconsin – I can’t help but compare this tour with the Miller tour. For one, these tours were a day apart. Two, the tour was in the same city. Three, the tour guide referenced the “other major brewery in town” in her talk. So, compare I will. This tour was not done by a script; instead, the tour guide worked at Sprecher part time and did not know much about the technical production of the beer. Instead, she knew an awful lot about what each tasted like. This tour guide went through each step of the beer-making process, which is how I learned what wort was. The Miller tour may have done this, but I couldn’t tell/pay attention/care. The tour group was small, about 20, so she actually answered questions as we went through. We went directly into the brewing room, where we learned how their beer and soda were made. Some Sprecher beers, we were told, take up to 8 months from start to finish to make. The fastest beer takes 5 weeks from start to finish. We saw the actual stuff the beer is made in and got explanations of what we were seeing. We then went into the packaging area via the fermentation cooler, and were right next to the bottle line, which came from when Coke packaged in 16-ounce glass bottles. It was very Laverne-and-Shirley-esque. After a brief explanation of each beer and their tastes, we were led into the indoor biergarten to sample up to 4 beers and unlimited soda (Sprecher makes 7 types of gourmet soda, too.). Rob enjoyed a couple of their beers very much, which we bought in their gift shop after we were done sampling. We ended up at this little microbrewery because we saw it on Food Network, when they highlighted Sprecher’s root beer. By the way, the soda is great. Vanilla-y and tasty. I even liked the root beer, and I normally despise root beer. The entire tour lasted about 1 hour, including sampling. This brewery tour earned an outstanding 3 out of 3 worts by educating us on the finer points of brewing beer, the outstanding free samples, the availability of real snacks while drinking (jalapeño cheese curds), the free tasting glass, and the ability to purchase the beer and soda we sampled. Well done, Sprecher!
Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company, St. Louis, Missouri – While in St. Louis, we decided that we just had to do this tour to compare. I’m glad we did. I had no idea that A-B made so many types of drinks. Over 120, at least. We also learned that 50% of the beers sold in the U.S. are an A-B product. Their brewery is a lot nicer looking, too. Not downtown dirty, as in Miller. A-B was landscaped, clean, and had automatic doors, instead of the locking ones that Miller had. We began the A-B tour at the visitor center with a group of about 50, where we heard a scripted history of the company. From the visitor’s center, we went outside to the stables where a half dozen Clydesdales were kept. There was even a Dalmatian wandering around the area. Dalmatians, for those of you not up on your beer history, were used to protect the carts of beer while the delivery guy was taking cases into a distributor. The Clydesdales were huge and calm. None were too interested in us. In the stable were also a delivery coach and the individually made harnesses for each horse. From the stables, we went to the Beachwood aging room, which had ginormous vats of fermenting beer. Wow. Huge, I’m telling you. Four ginormous vats tall. Lots of steel holding them up, too. We were told of the Beachwood aging process, which sounds just dandy (I don’t care.). It takes four weeks to ferment their beer, so it is not as quick as Miller, but not as long as Sprecher. It was about 50 degrees in there, and the kids thought it was pretty stinky again. Then we went to the packaging area, which was in full swing. Both bottles and cans were being filled with Busch beer, and we actually got to walk on the floor next to a can-filling machine. This area was very loud with thousands of clinking bottles. Then we walked to the production building, where we were educated on the basic beer making process (again), but this time with a nifty chart and seats. Then we walked to see the large containers that the beer is actually made in. That is pretty neat. I like seeing where things take place, not just a replica of where things happen. After we were done learning how beer is made and where A-B beer is made, we boarded a trolley back to the visitor’s center. That was Grace and Robby’s favorite part., aside from traveling up 7 flights of escalators. Wahoo! At the visitor’s center, we were escorted into a hospitality room for 2 free samples of beer in 8 ounce glass mugs. There were also large glasses of pop available. They had a lot more variety than Miller, but nothing as tasty as Sprecher. Interestingly, A-B made no mention of any other brewery, large or small. I thought that was classy of them. This brewery tour earned 2 1/2 out of 3 worts by outdoing Miller in just about every aspect. The only reason it did not earn the full 3 worts is because nothing tasted quite as good as at Sprechers.
